27!
Its an age that for years seemed so far in my future it didnt even warrant thinking about.I thought about 30 more than 27 which it quiet silly since you cant get to 30 without 27.
So here I sit in a hotel room in Singapore with a glass of wine and nothing but myself and my thoughts,and there are plenty of thoughts.
I've decided not to go out tonight,Im very tired but also I really want to celebrate with someone very special to me-me.
Who is Kate Schroeter?
She is a daughter and grandchild,a neice and a cousin.A sister a friend. Someone to love and someone to be wary of.
I have swam naked in the ocean and clothed in a pool.I have jumped over the Joan harrison pool wall in the middle of the night and skinny dipped with friends.I have lied to my mother.I have helped a stranger.I can listen.When Im alone I play music very loud and dance.I sing too!
I cry for things that happened ages ago because I remember so clearly how they made me feel.
I walk on the beach alone and close my eyes and say thank you for the day.
I love snack platters,I can eat all the cheesy poefs and mini quiches. I have an unhealthy obsession with sundried tomatoes.
I have lied to get what I want. I have used someone's weakness against them.I have been there for someone unconditionally.I've planned a wedding in my head. I have had my heart broken more than twice.I have allowed someone to treat me badly and not left.
I have gone to weddings and danced at others joy.I have gone to funerals and been overwhealmed by the finality of it all. I remember my 4th birthday party with my house cake made of biscuits.
I have acted in a play in a theatre.I have marched in a drummie squad.I have done hurdels and butterfly race.I have stolen sweets from a tuckshop.I have taken sides in a fight just so that the mob wouldn't turn on me next.I have gone to discos in garages and kissed a boy to Bon Jovi songs. I have bought coloured jeans and chealsea boots because everyone else did. I have sailed in a regatta. I have built forts in a veld and played princcesses and fairys. I have wished to grow up and be older.I have pretended to be something Im not to get people to like me. I have caused people to pretend to be something they're not to get me to like them.
I have taken part in a fashion show.I have entered a modelling contest and won.I have gone to parties that were to old for me.I have got drunk at 15 and kissed a boy in a pool. I have peirced my belly button and dyed my hair.I have chosen a boy over my friend.I have chosen a friend over a boy. I have had sex for the first time and remebered it. I have stood on a hill in the transkei and been awed by the sheer mass of the world.I have walked in mud and let it squish between my toes.I have been a secretary and a boss.I have spent a day around the pool with my best friends laughing.I have lived with a friend.I have shared my life with a man,every dream and fear. I have put someone before myself.I have lied to my parents.I have sometimes kept quiet when I should stand up and shout how I feel.I have been thin and fat and was shocked to discover which one Im happier being. I have faith in people.I want someone to be the best version of themselves.I have been tattooed.I have run on the beach in the rain. I keep old e-mails from lovers I once thought would last forever.
Sometimes I want to have children sometimes I dont. I have travelled all over the world.I have met famous people and street people.I have eaten in 5 star restaurants and over a campfire. I have made some amazing friends and try to look after them.I sometimes drop the ball,but thankfully they dont drop me. I have been a vegetarian and I have worn fur. I have fallen in love with the wrong man and even though its over still love him,and wont be sorry for it.Im proud im capable of such feelings.
I love Christmas and tradition.I love the farm in the Drakensburg.I love so many people and I dont tell them enough.I love you.
And so as I let my memories of the last 27years flow out of me and I realise that I am a work in progress.I am not yet done.I will continue to try new things and do things that scare me.I will continue to grow and share.I will try not let the heartaches and breaks ruin me,I will embrace all situations and learn what I can from them. I will not tell myself to always be strong,I will allow myself to cry and scream,to laugh and to sing.
I will allow myself to be me!
Thank you to all of you who help me to do that!!!!
I am Kate Schroeter
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